My online filing cabinet to share!

It is time to clean out and dispose of my many files but I am such a "keeper" that I can't just throw my years of stories, quotes, ideas, and memories away SO--- I am going to digitize them and put them in a blog to save in cyberspace as well. If anyone ever looks at this, I hope you find something that inspires creativity and fun energy!
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts

Saturday, February 4, 2012

DO WE LIVE AT YOUR HOUSE?

 DO WE LIVE AT YOUR HOUSE?


This is GREEDY GREEN.  He always wants the most, and the best, and he always wants to be first.  When there is just one cookie, he wants it.  When the kids play baseball, he wants to bat first.  GREEDY GREEN never thanks anyone or thinks about what others like.  He only thinks about himself.  I hope he doesn’t live at YOUR house!

Now, I want you to meet RUDY RED.  RUDY RED is a good friend of GREEDY GREEN, because she also thinks only about herself.  She doesn’t like to take time to say “please” or “thank you.”  She stands right in front of the TV when people are trying ot watch and makes lots of noise when people are trying to talk or to rest.  She is so rude that she whispers and rattles her papers when everyone else is quiet.  I’m sure RUDY RED doesn’t live at YOUR house!

Next, is TAN TATTLE.  His favorite thing to do is tattling.  He tattles if someone makes a face at him.  He’s always whining that somebody his him or that the other kids won’t play with him.  By nighttime, he’s all worn out from running back and forth tattling and his friends and family are worn out for listening to him!  Does he live at your house?

Oh, here is BOSSY BLUE.  She spends her time bossing everyone around.  She always has to be in charge and she always must be first.  S he bosses others around telling them what to do, how to do it and when to do it.  She always chooses the very best for herself.  It is very sad that she hasn’t learned how much fun it is to share.  I hope she doesn’t live at YOUR house.

And we can’t overlook YELLING YELLOW.  When he’s around, you can’t even hear anyone else.  He’s always yelling and running and making a big racket.  At the dinner table, he talks louder and longer than anyone else.  In a crowd it is easy to find him – just listen for the loudest voice.  Even at church you can see him running and yelling in the hallways.  Let’s hope YELLING YELLOW doesn’t live at YOUR house.

Now, I want you to meet POUTY PURPLE.  Poor POUTY PURPLE uses her weak and whiny voice to always complain that she has to do more jobs than her brothers and sisters, and that she never gets a turn to say anything when he wants to talk.  POUTY PURPLE is always feeling sorry for himself that she can’t do things as well as everybody else.  POUTY PURPLE never has any fun – she is too busy pouting.  Does POUTY PURPLE live at YOUR house?

Here is BUTT IN BROWN.  I’d better hurry and tell you about him, or he will butt in and I won’t get a chance.    Whenever someone starts to talk, BUTT IN BROWN interrupts and talks louder.  If a friend tries to tell about somewhere he went, BUTT IN BROWN butts in and starts telling where he went.  When someone in class tries to answer a question, BUTT IN BROWN hollers out the answer.  Most people wish BUTT IN BROWN would butt out!  I hope he doesn’t live at YOUR house!

Ooooops! We almost forgot POKEY PINK.  She ALWAYS come in late, because she pokes around until the last minute and then can’t catch up in time.  Her mom  has to call and call to get her up every morning.  POKEY PINK pokes around and plays until time to leave for school, and then makes everyone else late because she can’t find her shoe.  Of course, she never finishes her homework on times and usually ends up handing it in late.  She pokes around with her work until her playtime is over.  Poor POKEY PINK.  She almost poked along too late to get in this story.  Have you ever seen a POKEY PINK?  Not at YOUR house, I hope!

Last of all, I want you to meet POLITE PAM AND POLITE PETE.  You will like getting to know them.  They make others happy by being polite.  They aren’t selfish like GREEDY GREEN and never rude like RUDY RED.  PAM and PETE don’t enjoy tattling like TAN TATTLE and aren’t bossy like BOSSY BLUE.  You won’t hear them running inside and hollering like YELLING YELLOW, or see them with long grumpy faces like POUTY PURPLE. 

POLITE PAM and POLITE PETE are very careful not to butt in like BUTT IN BROWN  and they never come in late with POKEY PINK.  PAM and PETE always try to think of others, and because of this, they have lots of friends.  I hope you have LOTS of POLITE PAMS and POLITE PETES living at YOUR house and I hope you are one of them!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

WINNING WAYS TO TALK WITH YOUNG CHILDREN

WINNING WAYS TO TALK 
WITH YOUNG CHILDREN
As the mother of 12 children -- boys, girls, biological, adopted, and twins (almost), gifted, speech disabilities, emotional disabilities, language disabilities, etc.  -- I have learned from experience about the importance of communication with our children from before they are even born.  This packet is fabulous and should be a guide for building every parent/child relationship from before the child is born.  It is how we should communicate with everyone -- especially to our spouse.  Communication between husband and wife sets the example/foundation for entire family's communication!
















Tuesday, January 10, 2012

BIRTH AGE vs EMOTIONAL

BIRTHDAY AGE vs EMOTIONAL AGE

With 5 children adopted from Russia, we have even more extreme cases of delayed maturity than come with some kiddos.  We have struggled helping the kids understand that they can't throw a tantrum in the morning and expect to go off to them movie with a friend later that day.

My husband was inspired with this fabulous idea that has worked EXTREMELY well for us.

We have made a list of activities and privileges that kids participate in -- boy scouts, having a friend over to play, going to a friends house, a sleep over, going on a campout, etc.  We then broke those activities into age groups so that there is a list of activities that are allowed in our family for various age groups.
For example:  you have to be 8 to go to boy scouts, you have to be at least 12 to have a sleepover, you have to be 10 to go to a friend's house, you have to be 9 to have a friend come over and play.  Now -- our kiddos we are working with are all above the age of 8 so we don't have to deal with sounding extreme for not letting a child play with friends at a younger age -- we are dealing with emotional age not birthday age.
We also made a list of behaviors that typical children have at various ages -- tantrums by 2-4 year old, hitting a sibling by 4-6 year old, sneaking food 3-4 year old, raising voice at mom or dad by 2-4 year old, can't make own bed by a 4-5 year old, etc.

Now with that information on paper and explained a bit to the kids -- we started 3 of our kiddos at an emotional age equal to their birthday age.  If a child has a day of difficulty with choices then their age will go down by 1 number.  The age can only change 1 number up or down per day.  The prevents from Dad and Mom losing it and taking a child down to zero in a stressful day!  It also prevent the child from having stellar behavior in one day to gain a privilege and then retreat back to the baby the next day.  There must be steady progress and consistency.

On the board above, is a list for each child in the family and their responsibilities after school.  Next to the last 3 lists are little numbers and that is that child's emotional age.

Important:  This is not something that we use as a threat or as a tool to lobby.  We don't discuss it.  At night, after kids have gone to bed then Dad or Mom will decide if the age should change or stay the same.  When a child asks for a privilege then we just refer to the board.  We stay out of the emotional games and we don't argue or discuss it.  They know what it takes and can choose what age they want to be.

Also Important:  We are very open with our kiddos that if it is too hard to be 8 or 9 or 11 then that is OK.  I am completely OK with any of them being 3 or 4.  I will treat them more like a little one and they won't have the same or as many responsibilities of jobs -- I'm OK with that!  BUT they have to remember that they only receive the privileges of that age or I am not being a good mother because I am letting them go into situations they are not ready for.  Who would send a 3 year old go alone to a 10 year old friends house without mom supervision???

This system has been one of the best we have used and believe me --- we have tried MANY!!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

PRINCIPALS OF EQUAL PARTNERSHIP


PRINCIPALS OF EQUAL PARTNERSHIP

Although the exact allocation and implementation of family responsibilities may differ between families and across time within the same family, the following principles of equal partnership should prevail at all times and places.

Equal and United in Power
Husbands and wives each have common and unique powers or stewardships that are balanced; each is essential to become like God.
Equal and United in Purpose
Wives and husbands work toward the same, equal purpose which is to aid in bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of themselves, each other, and their children.
Equal and Unites in Possibility
Husbands and wives are yoked together as an independent unit.  Their ultimate, eternal possibilities are as a joined couple, not as individuals.
Equal and United in Participation
Wives and husbands have equal levels of responsibility and participation in the plan of salvation and in the sacred work of family life.  Husbands are as dependent on wives as wives are husbands.
Equal and United in Prominence
There is no value hierarchies or value distinctions between women and men nor in the stewardships they fulfill as wives and husbands, mothers and fathers.